Take Another Step

 This week has thrown me many curve balls you could say, but through the tough of things im finding out i can learn from anything bad. I mean you can learn anything from a bad situation, from learning how to deal with something new to just letting the situation bring you closer to God.
  Earlier this week, i met someone who im actually becoming pretty good friends with it, but it didnt start as just friends. I started talking to her, and i began to fall for her, pretty hard actually. Even though i barely knew her i still had those feelings. Now, i only hung out with her once, and it was amazing and everything i wanted it to be, but it ended up not working a day or so later. She ended up liking someone else, which now i am completely okay with but at the time i wasnt too happy.
  That night i stayed up all night thinking about things and walking home from my friends house at 5:30 in the morning to catch a sunrise. After sleeping and waking up later in the day my emotions were just a wreck. i felt like being alone, i felt like i wasnt wanted by anyone, so i layed in in continuous thought of an answer of why, why did this happen to me again? I found answers in the angry music i listened to, but most of all i found an answer in God and my friends. I had friends telling me to fight for what i want, but in all honesty, why fight for something when it can cause unhappiness to the people that will be effected by it.
  This questioning went by for a few days until last night, when i sat here just talking to the the girl that i liked, or maybe still do, but at this same time, i was talking to God. I started listening to all the worship song ive learned to love, the ones we played and sang at porch. I felt joy and hope, something i havent felt in a few days. It was amazing, i was crying and just praying. The song Everything by Tim Hughes got me the most.
  I think in this life we focus on too much of what we want instead of what we need. I found the hope that he was giving me all along, and it was mind blowing. Our focus should be on the positive things in this life, mine specifically is praising God. That is something i will never give up. So with this new hope, i will become better. My hurt is still there, not from just this week, but life. We need to push on with this life, dont fall into the negative.

                     [Ezekiel 36:26-28] - I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you.
I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
And I will put My spirit in you and move you to follow My decrees and be careful to keep My laws. 
You will live in the land I gave to your forefathers.
You will be my people and I will be your God.