Take Another Step

 This week has thrown me many curve balls you could say, but through the tough of things im finding out i can learn from anything bad. I mean you can learn anything from a bad situation, from learning how to deal with something new to just letting the situation bring you closer to God.
  Earlier this week, i met someone who im actually becoming pretty good friends with it, but it didnt start as just friends. I started talking to her, and i began to fall for her, pretty hard actually. Even though i barely knew her i still had those feelings. Now, i only hung out with her once, and it was amazing and everything i wanted it to be, but it ended up not working a day or so later. She ended up liking someone else, which now i am completely okay with but at the time i wasnt too happy.
  That night i stayed up all night thinking about things and walking home from my friends house at 5:30 in the morning to catch a sunrise. After sleeping and waking up later in the day my emotions were just a wreck. i felt like being alone, i felt like i wasnt wanted by anyone, so i layed in in continuous thought of an answer of why, why did this happen to me again? I found answers in the angry music i listened to, but most of all i found an answer in God and my friends. I had friends telling me to fight for what i want, but in all honesty, why fight for something when it can cause unhappiness to the people that will be effected by it.
  This questioning went by for a few days until last night, when i sat here just talking to the the girl that i liked, or maybe still do, but at this same time, i was talking to God. I started listening to all the worship song ive learned to love, the ones we played and sang at porch. I felt joy and hope, something i havent felt in a few days. It was amazing, i was crying and just praying. The song Everything by Tim Hughes got me the most.
  I think in this life we focus on too much of what we want instead of what we need. I found the hope that he was giving me all along, and it was mind blowing. Our focus should be on the positive things in this life, mine specifically is praising God. That is something i will never give up. So with this new hope, i will become better. My hurt is still there, not from just this week, but life. We need to push on with this life, dont fall into the negative.

                     [Ezekiel 36:26-28] - I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you.
I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
And I will put My spirit in you and move you to follow My decrees and be careful to keep My laws. 
You will live in the land I gave to your forefathers.
You will be my people and I will be your God.                           
 

Do You Still See Me As Beautiful?

  So ive gotten to spend about 80% of this day bottled up in my room, free to sit in boredom all day. Towards the end of this day though, ive gotten around to thinking about some things. I sat here and listened to Hundredth's album called When Will We Surrender, and i thought as people, why do we always fall face first and pretty much dig ourselves in huge holes we cant seem to escape.
  Thinking about that, i always realized that we are all loved. Through all the dirt and garbage in our lives we are loved, and that goes for any person in this world, God loves us all. It also seems though its so hard to look past our own defeats. I know how hard it is to be down and how hard it is to pull yourself back up, its something that nobody thinks about when they're in such a slump. It would be great to see through all pain and say things will get better, even in all seriousness it will, but we fail to see past the bad.
  I think we are all seen as beautiful in Gods eyes. Yes we may do wrong, but we are by no means perfect. This world fills our minds with what it tells us to be instead of us choosing what we want to be. With that its nearly impossible to see past our imperfection. I want to be able to spread the joy of Christ, so the people that find Christ see past all this imperfection and realize we arent perfect. I want people to see themselves down and be able o get back up on their own two feet and push forward with God with them. I want hope to be spread to those who need it the post.
 Lets not let this world bring us down, instead lets stand together and bring it up.

Remove our worthless idols, wreck our pride-Hundredth.

Hang In There Bobcat

 Today while on a bike ride things werent going as well as they usually are for me and my group of friends. Issues started popping up, a chain breaking miles from home, falling off a bike, having a peddle fall off miles from home, even hurrying home to give some need to a kitten we rescued from under a bush( pretty eventful day i know). Through all of this though, my mood was just dropping from good to bad, i was getting angry, i was tired and i just wanted to be home. This all didnt hit me until my peddle fell off, how mad i was getting and the stupid things i said.
  I hate getting angry, but its a trait we all carry. I yelled at my bestfriend over a band audition. I may feel like our friendship dwindles sometimes but i still love the guy and will always be there for him. Walking my one peddle bike up the trail i was able to get in some thinking time.
  Thinking time is great, i thought about as much as i could. I prayed walking up this trail, i prayed for everyhing to get better, that this whole anger thing just go away and leave. I felt relieved i was able to just have a little time to talk to God on that bike trail. My life isnt terrible, but when things keep pile-ling up as they were i tend to start feeling like im hopeless. I love God for everything he does, i love him for simply existing. I love my friends, i may have my bad times with them but the good times always outnumber the bad. So even though i may have considered today bad, it was also good.
  Got to love rambling blogging.

 John 3:30-He must become greater, and i must become less.